Anxiety and Being Committed
If you have no way to handle your undermining thoughts and feelings, you will be bringing them all into your relationship with inappropriate behavior and words. On this day I wrote about my path which made me realize that in a very important way I’ve assumed the most important part of what makes a long-term relationship work – fully committed to following my own path. Which brings me to this past weekend…
On a Friday during the night I developed my very first bladder infection. It is highly uncomfortable. What I’ve learned to do is to deal with it on the spiritual/emotional level and the physical level so I searched on the internet and found out that lots of water and lots of vitamin C would get rid of it and I also looked in a very important little book called Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. It says that bladder problems are about “Anxiety. Holding onto old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being ‘pissed off’.” It also says the positive affirmation to use is “I comfortably and easily let go the old and welcome the new in my life. I am safe.”
At the time I wrote about here there was much new in my life: someone else living with me and the Martian, being 65, having an old client quit, dealing with foods that don’t work for me constantly around and often calling to me because someone else was living here, etc. So I was consciously repeating that affirmation and watching my thoughts about all of these new things. And by the way, the infection was gone in 24 hours! I am blessed.
Then there was the day before I wrote this. My step-daughter seemed to be having some feelings that she didn’t express. It may be my imagination but I believe I have always been quite susceptible to picking up others feelings and I have had a fairly easy time of it recently because I’ve been alone a lot and my husband is pretty good at expressing and taking responsibility for his. Well, we now had a new person who is emotionally built differently than I and whose process is different. I can’t ask or expect her to do it my way. I invited her here knowing full well that there would be personal challenges for me. When I have these unidentified feelings which seem to build up into a kind of pressure that wants to be alleviated by eating (or overeating), I often eat and now there are things like brownies and lasagna in the house – all of which don’t work for this carbohydrate sensitive person that I am. New challenge!
It was apparently time for me to finally work all of these things out but if I didn’t do them myself I would soon be a self-critical bitch who took her bad feelings out on her partner. Whew! But I didn’t do that.
I am fully committed to my own path – the 11th Secret.
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January 31, 2012 | Tags: anxiety, committed, long term relationship
Category: personal growth, relationships & relationship tips
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This secret according to Maia is to “follow your own path.” That’s a tricky one to accomplish inside a committed relationship. I guess the first thing is to know what your “path” is before you can follow it. How do you figure that one out. Some people are lucky enough to figure this out as a child. For me it’s about trying a bunch of different things that seem like fun and see how I feel afterward. For example, I used to drink my share of alcohol and I enjoyed it. Well, that was fun while I was doing it. The problem is that afterward I didn’t feel so good physically or emotionally. It took me awhile to figure it out because I was a slow learner but I finally decided that this was not my path. I have similar stories using sex and some other things.
So, once you narrow down what you think your path is or what you need to do to find out who you are then you have to figure out how to accomplish this (whatever) thing inside a relationship. Is it ok with your partner.
It’s obviously way more clever to figure this out before you sign up for a committed relationship. If not, you will have to play the cards you are dealt.
Sorry for being obtuse; some things have no easy answers.