Anxiety and Being Committed

If you have no way to handle your undermining thoughts and feelings, you will be bringing them all into your relationship with inappropriate behavior and words. On this day I wrote about my path which made me realize that in a very important way I’ve assumed the most important part of what makes a long-term relationship work – fully committed to following my own path.  Which brings me to this past weekend…

On a Friday during the night I developed my very first bladder infection. It is highly uncomfortable. What I’ve learned to do is to deal with it on the spiritual/emotional level and the physical level so I searched on the internet and found out that lots of water and lots of vitamin C would get rid of it and I also looked in a very important little book called Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. It says that bladder problems are about “Anxiety. Holding onto old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being ‘pissed off’.” It also says the positive affirmation to use is “I comfortably and easily let go the old and welcome the new in my life. I am safe.”

At the time I wrote about here there was much new in my life: someone else living with me and the Martian, being 65, having an old client quit, dealing with foods that don’t work for me constantly around and often calling to me because someone else was living here, etc. So I was consciously repeating that affirmation and watching my thoughts about all of these new things. And by the way, the infection was gone in 24 hours! I am blessed.

Then there was the day before I wrote this. My step-daughter seemed to be having some feelings that she didn’t express. It may be my imagination but I believe I have always been quite susceptible to picking up others feelings and I have had a fairly easy time of it recently because I’ve been alone a lot and my husband is pretty good at expressing and taking responsibility for his. Well, we now had a new person who is emotionally built differently than I and whose process is different. I can’t ask or expect her to do it my way. I invited her here knowing full well that there would be personal challenges for me. When I have these unidentified feelings which seem to build up into a kind of pressure that wants to be alleviated by eating (or overeating), I often eat and now there are things like brownies and lasagna in the house – all of which don’t work for this carbohydrate sensitive person that I am. New challenge!

It was apparently time for me to finally work all of these things out but if I didn’t do them myself I would soon be a self-critical bitch who took her bad feelings out on her partner. Whew! But I didn’t do that.

I am fully committed to my own path – the 11th Secret.

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