Husband Wife Relationship #1

We were 18 when we met, 22 when we married and we didn’t have a clue who we were or how to have a functional relationship – with ourselves or each other. I came from what is politely called a dysfunctional family and I wore all the hallmarks – low self esteem, poor self image on a physical and personality level. I thought I was defective and not good at anything and so would never find another partner. That’s why I married who I did. By the time we were dating for 6 months I already experienced his mean and controlling ways. He experienced my victimy and wimpy emotional untruth. I never stood up for what I thought or felt. I was too damaged and immature. This mess that we created together lasted for a total of 19 years. We split a couple of months before our 15^th anniversary.

Husband Wife Relationship #2

By this time, a short 2 ½ years a nice man who I had been dating asked me to marry him. He was nice; not scary in any way and had built in grandparents and family for my four children. I can’t say I particularly cared about being married but he was nice…..

I had had a couple of years of 12-Step programs and had figured out that I could at least support me and my family and there was no longer abuse in my life so why not?

Six months later I ended it. I had become  bitten by the personal growth bug and was choosing to live a very different way then I had ever before – one with me telling myself the emotional truth – stepping out of denial and finding that I couldn’t give another chunk of my life to another albeit milder form of dysfunction in a husband wife relationship.

Husband Wife Relationship #3

We met in a personal growth workshop where we learned and practiced emotional healing and telling the emotional truth. We were friends for two and half years and knew each other very well before we began our relationship. We had relationship tools that I never knew existed and that worked to keep us from ever harboring resentments and being inauthentic or dragging our past into our present relationship. For 25 years and counting we have a wildly successful and happy husband wife relationship.

Fears in Control?

Allowing fears to stop you from accomplishing what you want in life might be one of the most significant barriers to personal growth.

• Say you want to stop spending your life working for others, doing a job that is largely uncreative and unsatisfying to your soul. But you know how much money is coming in every month.

• What if you don’t know what you do want to do or you know but have never been in your own business and don’t know how to start or all your old messages of incompetence arise? Hire a coach.

The right life coach will help you sort out your talents and skills and brainstorm with you on possibilities.

The right life coach is in their own business so they certainly can teach and support you to do the same.

The life coach will help you deal with your negative self talk.

Many people have various different fears and no matter what they are about, they can be so strong that they are completely debilitating. Many life coaches will help you with tools and techniques to overcome your fear so you can follow a clear path towards your future.

A coach will give you tools and techniques to help you over come your barriers to personal growth, of course, but the most important thing that they can give you is the confidence in yourself to know that whatever your fear is, you can handle it. Sooner or later, as you progress with your coach you will suddenly feel so strongly that you can face that fear and do whatever it is you are so scared of,  you will just jump right in and do it.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

On Letting Go

Do you ever find yourself going along thinking you know something or that you’ve resolved something, letting go and all of a sudden there’s more to learn or you discover you just resolved it a bit more?

Sometimes I think an issue is resolve and then I discover there’s even more to be uncovered and resolved.

My ex-husband is in my life. We share four children and four grandchildren. We live a few miles apart. It’s taken a lot of work on my part to be in a state of forgiveness. A lot of letting go. We had a very difficult marriage. We were too young and too unsuited to each other to have anything but a contentious relationship for a good deal of the four years we dated and the 15 years we were married.

I’ve been going along thinking I had forgiven him for the hurt I felt but wouldn’t you know it, I learned just how much internal protection I was holding onto when it came to him. And I am sure he could feel that. I wasn’t letting go. I kept seeing him as ‘weird’ until it I clearly saw, “Your four kids are half his? Are they weird? Are they part you and part him which makes them somehow defective.” Of course not! So another letting go.

Maybe some people who grow up being abused never learn how to fully relax and fully trust others. Or maybe it happens in degrees over the years. I’m not sure but what I’m sure of is that I sat next to my ex at a holiday performance at our grandson’s school on Friday and I felt completely open to him for the first time – probably since we met in 1961! And then again this past couple of weeks, another unfolding and another awareness and another letting go. We had the best conversation about a difficult family issue. It was the best conversation we’ve had in 50 years!

Life is a wonderful teacher and I feel lighter and better about myself with this burden dropped – or maybe they’ll be more to drop someday in the future.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

]]> http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/letting-go/feed 5 http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/once-upon-emotional-healing http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/once-upon-emotional-healing#comments Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:00:10 +0000 allaboutlifecoaching http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/?p=988 Three Magic Secrets

to Emotional Healing

It is our job to change our own lives.  It cannot be left to other people or to the world around us. We cannot push our lives back until we have money, or feel secure in relationships. We have to start our emotional healing now.

Three Magic Secrets necessary to change your life:

1. Magic Secret #1 – Life Is a School – Every newspaper and TV station and internet news are all freaking out about the economy, the environment, the politicians, etc. Well, that is their job as they see it. But our job is to ignore all that and remember Life Is a School. Why do we want to ignore it or at least not get too focused on it? Because our predominant state of being creates our reality and if our predominant state of being is some sort of freak out, then that’s what we will create in our lives. Not only is Life Is a School on the individual level but the level of state, country, planet, Universe. We are here to learn. If everyone is freaking out, then we create more to be freaked out about. Like attracts like. And from that perspective we’ve done quite a good job of it. What I want to learn and I am suggesting you learn too, is how to be as authentically me as possible and how to change my attitude as quickly as possible which leads me to say that on both an individual and global level we all create a better world which is why I endorsed Obama . He seems to supply hope to many people. It’s a much happier attractor than fear will ever be – or at least we’ll like the results more.

2. Magic Secret #2 – Friend In-Deed – Don’t underestimate the impact of who you keep close to you  in your life on your attitude. If the people you hang out with are into positive change, it’ll make it easier for you to be into it too.  If the people you hang out with are critical and complaining, guess what? That’s the direction you will likely find yourself going in. If they focus on negativity and on the past and all that was wrong with it, remind them and yourself now is the time for change!

3. Magic Secret #3 – My Cup Runneth Over – Yup. Gratitude. The easiest way to activate the Law of Attraction in your direction, The easiest way to change your attitude and easily focus on now . Gratitude can open the door to your own emotional healing, let go of anger, and allow wonderful things to transpire in your life.

As my book says, “And with those Magic Secrets you too will discover how to find the sparkle, the light, the joy, find who you were when you were very first born.” (page 35, Once Upon a Time There Was You: Three Magic Secrets for Finding Your Real Self .

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

]]> http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/once-upon-emotional-healing/feed 0 http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/how-to-find-an-emotional-balance http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/how-to-find-an-emotional-balance#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:00:04 +0000 allaboutlifecoaching http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/?p=195 Emotional Balance – How You Can Find It

A difficult concept for people to understand is that the first thing you must get under control in your life in order to have the life you want is your emotional balance. To do this may require therapy or using self-help tools like the Love Letter .

Some say: “Living by your emotions and making decisions based on your emotions will never allow you to grow and succeed in the way that you deserve”. I say that could be true because you will continually attract more and more negatives into your life if your thoughts and feelings are largely negative. However, if you begin to adopt a different attitude, an attitude of learning from what is happening, you can begin to climb out of your negative spiral.

If you are not at peace with yourself and grateful for the blessings that you do have, you may become stuck in an unhealthy cycle of thoughts that will continue to keep you unhappy. Most likely your relationships and everything else in your life will be affected by this kind of upset balance.

If your negative emotions are controlling your life, many times you will feel as if you are out of control and you have no say over anything that happens in your life – like a victim of life.

Try this life coaching tool:

Find-the-Gift Exercise

Use this often and:

1. You’ll step out of victimhood into your powerful authentic self.

2. You’ll have an effective tool for problem-solving and guidance.

3. You’ll be more creative.

4. You’ll increase your insights and understanding about yourself and others.

5. You’ll have a lot more fun dealing with the difficulties of life.

6. You’ll be able to quickly jump to the learning about your life without going through all these steps.

Use this when:

• You’re in a situation you don’t want to be in.
• You feel stuck in negativity.
• You feel like a victim.

Current Picture : Several years ago moved to Las Vegas because my husband got a great job opportunity. It’s one of the last places on earth I would have chosen to live. Moving away from most of my closest support system was very difficult because I’m a gregarious person.

Please note : The number of negatives and learning/gifts may not and don’t have to be equal.

New Picture : Living in Las Vegas served me perfectly to find more of the Real Me . It’s made even the 120 degree heat seem ideal for this business of changing my life. If I began to slip into or get stuck in any groans and moans, I easily got my positive attitude back by using this tool again. Much of the time, it’s become second nature to me. If I find myself resistant to using this tool, I ask my buddy or coach for help.

Find-the-Gift Do-It Your Turn

1. Write your current picture in 3 sentences or less. The current picture can be a situation in the present or something from the past that still has a negative charge, i.e. something that still elicits a negative emotional reaction when you think of it, or when you are in the presence of that person or situation.

2. Write 4 or 5 negatives about the situation on the left and 4 or 5 things you learned and/or gifts you received from the situation. A gift may be an actual object but most likely will be an unexpected benefit or something you’ve learned about yourself or life. The number of negatives and learning/gifts may or may not be equal.

3. After you finish your chart, a recap of the learning and gifts can be helpful. I call that the New Picture . Take a moment to recap your learning now or let it emerge in the following hours, days or weeks and go back to write it down then.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Nobody can deny The Secret was a big success. Why do people still seem to have trouble making the Law of Attraction work for them? Most people are still missing one little factor in making it work for them: you attract what you focus on. So, if you are focusing on what you are lacking, you are drawing to you more  of what you lack. It is very simple. Knock off the self pity after 5 minutes. A very wise woman once told me I was allowed 15 minutes of complaining and feeling sorry for myself a day .

Forget about everything that you don’t have and be grateful for all that you do have. Stop repeating to yourself over and over what you can’t afford and what you are going without. You are just proving to yourself that the Law of Attraction really does work.

Negative thinking is a habit, a bad habit and one that you need to break to make the Law of Attraction work for you. Like any other bad habit, with a strong commitment and determination you can break the habit. Break the negative habit by becoming very aware of your thoughts. If you pay attention to your thoughts for a few days, you will begin to pick up every time a negative thought comes into your mind. When you become good at recognizing these thoughts, then it is time to start to change them. Also, pay attention to your feelings. They are a sure indicator of what you are thinking.

When you find yourself thinking something negative, stop and change the thought to the opposite of whatever it is. Concentrate on this positive thought for a moment and experience how it makes you feel. Eventually, this will become a new habit for you and soon you will automatically begin thinking more positives and less negatives.

But here’s the kicker. Our thoughts create our feelings. And we are generally actually addicted to our feelings. So our work is really cut out for us. But since life is a journey and a school, what’s the hurry? We’ll likely just come back and choose to do it all over again anyway.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

]]> http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/using-the-law-of-attraction-consciously-part-2/feed 5 http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/create-your-own-economic-paradigm http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/create-your-own-economic-paradigm#comments Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:00:58 +0000 allaboutlifecoaching http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/?p=706 How Can I Attract Abundance?

STOP WATCHING THE NEWS! Every news media one reads or sees these days is predicting economic horrors or reporting on the current ones.  This cannot help you to attract abundance into your life.  Since I’ve been alive the past 67 years, I have lived though many different economies. What I’ve noticed is that just like people – they change and the change is constant.

My husband is a pretty smart guy and has a talent and gift for seeing the big picture. He says, after trying to scope it all out, that the economy is all in our minds. And I say, “We have control over those.” Am I not noticing the facts? It is group consciousness that created the world economy such as it is and it is group consciousness that will create something different – one mind at a time.

Remember in What the Bleep Do We Know? how we saw how we are biochemically addicted or our emotional states? (If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.) The media knows this and is selling us the fear that is addictive. Because it is addictive it keeps us coming back for more and more and more. Ultimately, as we buy into the fear that they are selling and we are addicted to, our negative vibrations then create what we have – a big, negative mess. How can we change it? Taking responsibility for our own minds. To attract abundance we must filter what goes into our mind. The Law of Attraction works. It works in our individual lives and it works in our group conscious mind even bigger. The more we focus, the more we will get.

So my question to you is, WHERE IS YOUR MIND FOCUSED TODAY?

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!