This Is What I Do

As I’ve said many times, each life coach is different. So I can only speak for myself. This morning was a perfect example of how I, as a life coach, interact with clients emotions and feelings. I have a 67-year-old client who, from my perspective, is a bit afraid of her feelings. Because of that, she almost always decides that her anger is not ok. This, of course, affects her relationships profoundly. She has been married four times. And currently is in a committed relationship which seems to be much better than any she’s had before. Her partner is willing to grow along with her and is open to change also. He appears truly to love her and want her to be happy.

So they have some things going on that have given her the opportunity to become angry. Things that have to do with money, control and remodeling a kitchen. Last week she was so full of feelings and emotions that she was ready to sleep in another room or leave the relationship. This week she reported having had the conversations with him that she needed to have herself be seen and heard.

Now I’m fine with whatever she does. As you know I try to have NOAGNDA with my clients but they pay me to say the hard stuff and many times to offer my knowledge, wisdom and know-how with the challenges they experience in their lives.

My experience with emotions and feelings is this. In my household growing up, I pretty much was allowed happy and sad. The two incidents my mother told me about often were when I was two and four. When I was two I apparently kept spitting cereal at her so she dumped the bowl on my head. When I was four I spit again and she washed my mouth out with soap. So the environment wasn’t too open to my expressing anger. Well, when a child is hampered from expressing feelings, what happens is they lose their inborn emotional intelligence. Because that happened to me, many things came to pass in my life that forced me to finally pursue reeducating myself on feelings – both intellectually and by allowing myself to process the old ones. That’s another story but I have a lot of experience and am now thought of as an expert in emotional intelligence by my husband.

So this is part of the education that often happens with clients. When we talk about emotions and feelings, I teach what I know and offer tools I’ve learned or developed.

That’s pretty much how this life coach interacts with clients about emotions and feelings.

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