Appreciating Each Other’s Gifts

Last year when my family and friends celebrated my 65th birthday with me. We had about 16 people including 3 noisy little boys ages 8, 4 and almost 3 in my not that big living room. It was joyful mayhem at its best.

Awhile ago I was discussing the wonderfulness of it all and the Martian said he realized that one of the things he wants to learn from me is how to create a loving family and friends as I have done.

He reiterated how both his mother and father left their families behind and subtly and not so subtly gave him and his sister the message that people and particularly families are too much bother and trouble. We all know that families are bother and trouble. And if you let friends really close to you, they can be too. They are all also great joy – for me, at least. There is great joy and richness in the working out of the bother and trouble.

Here’s a couple of quotes from my step-daughter’s special birthday gift to me 70 Things I Love About You that notice this gift that I have cultivated. (Are you curious why it’s 70 not 65? When I was 60 she mistakenly made a list of 65 which we all laughed about but I wouldn’t let her take any away so now she’s creating a tradition of giving me 5 extra. I like it!)

#14. Your unconditional love for all your children and grandchildren

#15. The pride you have in your children for both large and small accomplishments

#50. The way you allow others to be themselves

Just so you know, you can cultivate this gift too. My family was a crazy one including a cheating dad who molested me and a raging mother who focused a lot of that rage on me. But along with their dysfunction I also saw how they made their best friend’s family into theirs while the Martian saw almost no one ever even visit his childhood home.

I love having this gift but how extraordinarily wonderful it is that my 74-year old husband not only appreciates the gift in me, tells me he appreciates it but wants to change his way sand develop this talent in himself?!

So the next Saturday he invited my daughter, his step-daughter for 23 years to have breakfast with us and I noticed he went out of his way all day yesterday to give out more special hugs than he often does.

I gotta love the guy!