For years I have been asked how to become a life coach. There are actually many ways to become a life coach. I will cover the ways I know of. I know that colleges are now giving courses but I have no experience with that nor do I know anyone who does so I cannot say anything about it except that most of the people in colleges are quite young and usually life experience is a very important factor in how to become a life coach.

Hang Up Your Sign

Since there are no government requirements, at least in the United States, then one can simply hand up your sign – on your door, the door of your office, on the internet, on posters, flyers, etc. As a matter of fact, I used to just tell people to do just that.

THE MAIN PITFALLS: Most people don’t have the confidence to just do that unless they come from a background that easily transfers their talents and skills and if they have the personal confidence in themselves to do so.

THE MAIN BENEFIT: You just do it and start promoting and marketing yourself however you think is best.

Take an Online Course

If you’ve looked at all, you know there are approximately a zillion online programs telling you that they will train you how to become a life coach. I myself have never done that but have heard many reports.

THE MAIN PITFALLS: I hear even about the best ones is that there is no support and no actual training. There may be books and tapes and videos but that is not really training as a coach. Coaching is a doing kind of thing and all the information in the world does not give one the experience of coaching.

THE MAIN BENEFIT: I believe these courses are fairly inexpensive.

Go to a Training School (In-person or online/teleconference)

This is how I got my training. I was trained by one of the top schools. I went to 5 weekend classes along with around 22 others. The training was the very most basic of trainings.

THE MAIN PITFALLS: We did what they called popcorn coaching which meant that all 22+ of us got to do about 2 minutes of coaching in front of the room which made me feel very self-conscious and uncomfortable and really didn’t teach me anything much. If I wanted to work with a coach, I’d have to hire one trained by them for $400+ per month and go through their certification program which cost another $6,000 or $7,000.

THE MAIN BENEFIT: Since I decided to forgo that experience, I can only report what the many others I know have told me. They felt like they could coach however their support and coaching were over after the program was over and they were on their own again.

Become Trained by a Coach/Mentor with Experience

No this isn’t a sales pitch but this is what I do. I work directly with each trainee and supervise their coaching when they get to that part of the program. I actually teach them how to become a life coach by helping them find their own unique gifts and talents. They weekly hear not only my coaching but coaching done by those that have come before them. It seems silly for me to go on about it. But if you’ve been asking yourself how to become a life coach, click here and read and see if what I do is right for you.

Whatever you decide, have a ball coaching. It is a most joyful thing to do for and with people.

The View from Mars

by Maia’s Martian

Yesterday evening Maia and I were talking  and she brought up the topic about how having sex too soon (whatever that means) in a new relationship sometimes seems to confuse things for women and not always in a good way.

Because I am wired and socialized as a Martian my first impulse was to think “the more sex the better and the sooner the better, what’s wrong with that?”

As I thought about my own experience however, I realized that there is more to it than that and so here is  the view from an older Martian after 25 years in a successful relationship:

The word intimacy usually is a more polite way to say “sex”.  Here is a more inclusive meaning of intimacy – INTO-ME-SEE -  which maybe means “through sex we are able to know each other.”

And that is the gift of an intimate long term committed relationship. You develop  a mirror to each other’s Soul. In simple terms you get to see the Real You and the Real Her reflected  through each other’s eyes on a daily basis. How incredible is that? Maybe women already know this but I know from being a man for almost 75 years that most men don’t know that is even possible.

Think of sex as a door that opens into a room where you will find this gift of discovering each other’s Soul.

The difficulty is that Martian DNA  is only about opening as many doors as possible. However, if doors are too easy for a man to open then they will never venture into the room and discover the gift.

Opening the door is easy, finding who you and she is (the Real You) takes a long term committed relationship.

So, in answer to the question of how soon to have sex in a new relationship, it is and always was totally up to the individuals involved and hopefully after reading this you are able to make a decision that comes from a higher consciousness.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Happy Marriages Have Issues, too

I really love my husband. I respect him. I am proud of him. I am proud to be in a relationship with him. So where does the evil little bitch that I can be come from? Is it from my past? Is it hormones? Is it morning blues? YUK!!!!

Here’s what happened this morning. I got up earlier than usual which for some reason brought me to my computer. That’s always a mistake first thing in the morning. I get pulled into work so now on top of the usual duties I’ve assigned myself in the morning – putting dishes away, making the Martian’s lunch, making his breakfast.  By going to my computer, I now subconsciously have taken on my career duties as well.

So the Martian, who had gotten up before me and was relaxing with a cup of tea on the couch started sharing stuff from work with me. He teaches high school science and physics. He asked me a couple of times if I was listening and I said “yes” although truthfully his talking and relaxing was beginning to annoy me because I was working, stressed, blah, blah, blah – you got it -

Now why would I think that working at 4:30 in the morning is more important than connecting with my husband and hearing a beautiful story about one of his students. It was so moving to him, he was choked up with feeling and I was WORKING!

Oy! Well, fortunately I saw my stuff quickly, apologized and – HOPEFULLY – learned something.

I promise to respect my husband. I promise to respect and appreciate my husband. And I love myself with my pimples, foibles and wrinkles anyway.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Many people go through life with low self esteem. This is a sad, but true, fact that is made sadder by the fact that it doesn’t have to be that way. Every person on the planet is a special, unique person and deserves all good that comes along. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. Many of the littlest things in life can do so much to improve self esteem.

To improve self esteem you can:

• Smile at the people who come across your path today.
• Find something funny to laugh about.
• Turn negative thoughts into positive ones and see what happens.
• See what you can learn from what happens in your life.
• List all your positive attributes.
• Ask your close friends and family what they love about you – and let it in.
• Do something for someone that they don’t expect and let them express gratitude.
• Do something wonderful and kind for someone that they know nothing about.
• Compliment the grocery checkout person.
• Make a “To Do” list and check off each thing as you accomplish it.
• Do something that scares you a little.
• Learn something new.
• Forgive someone.

These things are so simple to do that you will be amazed at what happens when, for example, you do something nice for someone for no reason, do something that scares you a little, learn something new and you feel better about yourself. What have you accomplished besides spreading some joy? You have worked to improve self esteem.

There are endless possibilities to love others and yourself. And remember to accept what you can’t change. Give it a shot for a day or two and see how much better you feel about yourself.

Self esteem is not a static thing. If you pay close attention and focus on each day instead of making broad statements about yourself and to yourself, you may begin to see that some days you feel not so bad about yourself. Those would be good days to improve self esteem so that on your low self esteem days, you can begin to look back and see that you are doing something to change it. Even acknowledging to yourself that you are working towards feeling differently about yourself, will help you improve your self esteem. It is not very much fun to walk around feeling badly about yourself. It tends to be a self perpetuating situation where feeling badly about yourself supports you to do things that make you feel badly about yourself. Work done to improve self esteem will change your world and you are worth

There are many reasons that having a life coach is a beneficial thing. It brings an objective voice to your life that has (hopefully – see NOAGNDA ) no other agenda to follow other than to help you find and achieve what you want in your life.

Friends and family can be great support but they don’t always agree with what you actually want and may feel that they know what would be best for you and make you happy. A coach (again, hopefully) will never do this.

1. A life coach can help you pull your life out of a rut that you may be stuck in. You may find yourself bored and not enjoying your life or your work anymore. A life coach can help you figure out why and how to fix it.
2. Another way a life coach can help you is by helping to organize your goals so that you can actually get what you want and not just dream about it. Many people seem to have lost their vision in life and feel like they have no purpose.
3. Life coaching can help pull your purpose back out of you and get you back on track.
4. Many people turn to a life coach during big transitions in their life such as retirement, job change or divorce. Coaches often have or create in the moment tools to help you keep your coaching-acquired skills as you leave your coaching experience and continue on with your life.
5. People looking for more passion or value in their life may turn to a coach to help explore why these things are missing in your life.
6. Another reason someone may turn to a life coach is if they have been engaging in destructive behaviors , a coach may be able to help them figure out why and make some changes.

Whatever your reasons might be. Try it. See how it can work for you.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

On my website if you look over to the right, there’s a button that says Ask a Coach Community. If you were to press that button you could become a member and you could receive a free personal/spiritual growth writing assignment or journaling question every week for a year. Many people are writing frequently and I love this wonderful community that is forming.

I was inspired to write about the way one of the members completed this journaling question or assignment. The assignment begins like this:

Your mother probably told you at one time or another, “You should feel grateful for what you have. The children in ________________________ are starving.” This is likely what helped give gratitude such a bad name. It’s surprising what a bad reaction I get (or give) when I or someone close to me is feeling down and “list the things you’re grateful for” is the suggestion. Once we feel sad or afraid, are we stuck? We only feel stuck. Expressing gratitude is an amazing tool to move through these negative feelings. Negative feelings can affect our health and life adversely.

Then there are many suggestions of exercises to do. Well, one of the members decided to begin to teach her 3 children about gratitude by asking them what they are grateful for.

Her 17 year old listed the things you’d expect her to list including “getting my phone back”.

The 10 year old boys list said:

1. My good fortune to have freedom
2. My family
3. The freedom of speech
4. To do good in school
5. That I have good food on the table at mealtime

And the youngest, almost 3-year old boy drew a picture of his babysitter/pre-school lady!

The member said about her little one, “I have no idea what part of grateful he understood, but amazing was his response.”

I feel so blessed to have association with people who are teaching their children about gratitude. My cup runneth over.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

by Maggie Currie

There are many, many reasons why women don’t leave an abusive relationship.  I believe that most of the reasons stem from fear.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational.  For instance, fear of having no money if they leave.  Because women are generally at home looking after the children, they don’t have any income of their own.  The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. This is one of the reasons women stay in abusive relationships.

Fear of what other people might think.  There is often a social stigma that labels women as failures if they dare to leave their partners.  Usually nobody outside the home realizes what is going on which adds to that stigma.  This leads to feelings of insecurity. And so this is another reason women stay in abusive relationships.

Fear of what might happen to them at the hand of their partner if they did leave.  Often women believe that their partner will come after them and kill them and/or their children. The threats are made to them over and over again, until they are ingrained in their mind. And so this is another reason women stay in abusive relationships.

Women often fear that they are the reason that they are abused.  That it is their fault. And if they were to change their ways their abusive partner would be different.  A false supposition. And so this is another reason women stay in abusive relationships.

I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship.  I was verbally and emotionally abused by my first husband. He would belittle me in front of the children, always tell me that I knew nothing, was of no use and he would do anything to stop me succeeding at anything.  Add to that the fact that my parents believed that I should make the marriage work because I was too young, in their opinion, to know what I was doing, I was financially dependent. And so I stayed.  I stayed 12 years.

I did, eventually, find the courage to leave and take the children with me and started a new life in a different town.  The feeling of relief was immense.  Although I was threatened with all sorts of things, such as having the children removed, losing my flat etc., I discovered that the threats were empty.  And this is probably true of most abusers.  They are cowards and when someone actually stands up to them, they generally back off.

There are ways out of this horrendous situation.  There are women’s refuges who will help you so that you can get yourself out of the abusive home.  Once you are out and can think about what options there are for you, there are life coaches who can help you see yourself as you, the real person, and not a punch bag.

If I had known about life coaching back then I would have been the very first client.

There is no reason good enough to actually justify women staying in an abusive relationship.