When I notice that our connection is almost habitual and the juice is pretty low, I realize that the Martian and I need some real time away just with each other. We have very busy lives and so our 10 or 15 minutes in the morning and a possible few hours on a weekend is just not enough time just with each other. The Martian is off and alone time here we come!
Relationship Advice:
It is so important for all couples to spend time together to keep that connection alive. Remember, why you fell in love in the first place. Remember those beautiful times you spent together. Now go invent some new beautiful memories and re-connect.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
Self confidence is all about how you feel towards yourself and how confident you are in your life and the situations you encounter. High self esteem means you truly love yourself and who you are inside.
For example,
I know I am a truly good person.
I know I wish everyone well. I also know I am an authentic person.
I know there is no big gap between what I think and feel about something or someone and how I act.
I love those qualities within myself. I very much like who I am as a person.
Self confidence may change on a regular basis depending on the things that are happening in your life on a daily basis. The change could even be linked to not enough sleep or having a very stressful few days or even hours. Everyone has good days and bad days but if most of your days tend to be bad and you feel stuck where you are and not willing to try new things, you probably have low self confidence and, my guess is, you most likely know it. I suffered from low self confidence for years and I certainly knew it.
The good news is that you can build your self confidence but it will likely take time. With some work and a serious commitment there are techniques that you can use to build your own self confidence. You will find many of them on this site.
First you must commit to remaining positive. A positive attitude is crucial to the success of building your self confidence. Then you must stop listening to anything negative that you or anyone else says. And since this is mostly an inside job, the voices you have floating around in your head, are the most damaging or most beneficial. Good self messages sound positive. Low self esteem inner messages are negative, critical and have lots of shoulds in them.
1. Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself to other people. You are your own unique person with your own purpose for being here and it doesn’t matter what others do, say or accomplish. It has nothing to do with you – except as far as you let it run your life.
2. Associate with positive people.
3. Spend your time doing work and activities that you truly love.
4. Do not go over your past mistakes in your head. Forgive yourself and move on.
Start small and celebrate all of your successes. As time goes on, your small successes will become larger successes and you will be on the road to much higher self confidence and many more opportunities to be happy.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
I was going for a walk the other day and noticed I was asking myself why I created a really difficult old friend visiting the previous weekend. These days, it isn’t surprising to you when someone asks, “Why did you create that?”
It’s not a bad or wrong question but there’s always been something about the question that bothered me a bit. Now I know what it is. Implied in that little question is “you dope”. It’s kind of saying, “That was a really lame and hard thing you created for yourself, you dope. Why’d you do that?”
Then I realized I didn’t care very much why I had created the situation but what I did care about was what I could learn for the future from the experience. Maybe it was a little dopey of me to expect someone I had been friends with over 40 years ago to be a person I would necessarily enjoy spending a weekend with at this time of my life.
So what I learned from the situation is:
1. Just because I might have agreed a couple of months ago to do something I didn’t really want to do now, I could have changed my mind.
2. To really trust my intuition about situations with people. I have an intuitive gift about people and situations. Use it. Follow it.
3. If I don’t do #1 and #2, forgive myself and move on.
So next time you hear yourself ask, “Why did I create that?” remember that only if the answer will positively change your future behavior, i.e. you learn something from it, is it a valid and self-empowering question.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
In a world full opposites we seem to have trouble finding our own self acceptance. I was in the last couple of minutes with a coaching call and my client said she realized why she spent her life comparing herself to others. Her mother had compared her to others when she was a child and she learned it.
Learning to compare as a child makes perfect sense to me from two perspectives:
First we have the human perspective – the perspective we hold here on planet earth. Here on planet earth it seems as if comparing is perfectly normal. We are always looking at good and bad , smaller and bigger , better and worse . We see things in duality. If there is one, the opposite is also true. So when my mother used to say, “Why aren’t you like Renee (a goodie-two-shoes who was the older-than-I daughter of my mother’s childhood friend)? It made me feel – bad! So if I was bad then somebody has to be good. And so we spend our lives comparing ourselves to others. But self acceptance can also be learned thus we have to apply it to our daily routine.
Then we have the broad, spiritual perspective (and I might add, the real one). In that perspective there is only ONENESS. Whether you see it as a spiritual Intelligence, God or whatever, it’s very nature is oneness. And since that implies that ALL is part of that, there is no duality, no good and bad, no smaller and bigger, no comparison. All is included in the ONE. We are all encompassing. All of us are apart of one whole.
So, from the spiritual perspective there is nothing to compare because we are all part of the same thing. It is only an illusion. When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else checking to see if they are richer, thinner or prettier or if you are, then you can realize that perspective is learned. Now you are in control of your own self acceptance. Every time you catch yourself, you are closer and closer to full self acceptance.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
October 18th was the Martian’s 77th birthday. We had a wonderful party and 6 of our 7 children and 4 grandchildren were there. Also our closest friends. He is a high school teacher who started his teaching career at age 70. His age, 77, is not what I expected and I can’t prove it but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of his youthfulness could be attributed to the happiness and passion we experience in our relationship
So why all the intrigue? What entered our relationship today? Well, nothing but self realization by both of us that mortality is part of our relationship now. I guess it’s always true. It’s really part of everyone’s life but being age 68 (me) and 77 (him) it’s good to let ourselves know it. Yes, our skin isn’t what it used to be, other things have changed as well. Yes, if you are curious, sex is different but still wonderful.
Life is a school and when class is over you leave this body. Rather than deny the fact of mortality or push it away, I would rather open my eyes to self realization and wake up to the process of aging so my experience of life is as deep and rich and full and honest as it can be. I love the process of unfolding more about myself be it my young or old self.
Acknowledging is self realization and even embracing things you can’t change sounds like an Abraham technique.Whatever it is, we acknowledged mortality’s presence and we will set out to make it our friend. As it walks along with us. Will keep you posted.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
I guess I’ve learned to make a story out of my life. This movie is the story of a part of my life. Making it into a story, has helped me learn what was good about the hard parts. Writing and producing it the way I did felt like giving birth to my 5th child. That child has taught me many things about life and myself. It is said, “from the mouth of babes”.
The Fifth Child Is Born as We All Are – as a Result of Pain
Twelve years ago my husband and I found ourselves living in Las Vegas, a very unlikely place for someone who hates heat and always said she never would want to live there – me. Some people experience the results in their lives that have people saying to them, “Be careful what you wish for” but I seem to have to stay away from “I never…” kinds of statements because then they seem to happen.
So we had just gone through one of the hard parts in life. For 5 years we ran a workshop training company for John Gray, the Men Are from Mars guy and that company ended abruptly and kind of crazily. Many things changed in our lives including no longer being able to afford our lovely home in N. California. Fortunately, my husband was offered the job in Las Vegas and to Las Vegas we went.
So since I had to do something in Las Vegas out of the heat, I decided to see if I could write a book. It was a sometimes frustrating journey but I did it! I learned that I have creative talent that I had no idea I had.
The Fifth Child’s Frustrating Years
I also had no idea how to market the book, so it sat in boxes in our house until along came the idea of making it into a Powerpoint presentation with movement and music.
That also took many, many months only to find out that Powerpoint files were really hard to show on the internet. Eventually I had it made into a flash movie which took a whole year long journey in itself and was fraught with much drama between me and the gentleman who was making it for me.
Meanwhile things got way better in our lives. We were back in Los Angeles, crazed and then uncrazed over the loss of all of our money but life kept improving as my husband found his fifth career at age 70, teaching high school Physics which he does until today, seven years later, and I am about to start training my thirteenth coach.
The Fifth Child Grows Up
Yesterday I was able to convert that flash movie that took a year to be done into a movie I can easily post anywhere from youtube to facebook or right here on my website. For that I am exceptionally grateful. At the same time in this my 70th year on the planet (I will have my 70th birthday on January 4, 2013) I am now known as the Wise Fairy God Mother and I finally believe it is the most appropriate title for this formerly very low self esteem woman, the Woman-Who-Was-the-Girl-Who-Was-the-Light. And I am grateful.
Note: If you want to find out who the Woman-Who-Was-the-Girl-Who-Was-the-Light and the Wise Fairy God Mother are, watch the movie. It’ll take you about 11 minutes and put your speakers on.
I first met Maia Berens through her Twitter page and other social networking sites, much like I have other professionals and coaches. Maia has taken time to thoughtfully email me personally, to send gifts, and to offer her eloquent graciousness to all who call on her. Maia represents the essence of the creation OOCA : caring, compassion, and giving. Thus, this article is dedicated to Ms. Maia and the wonderful Coaching work that she offers.
Maia Berens, the Caring Compassionate Coach
I first met Maia, like I said previously, through Twitter where she was still working on the creation of her new website. I was allowed a “sneak peek” of her new site and it was stunning! Thus, I told her so. The next thing I knew, Maia went out of her way to email me personally, and our new relationship began. The more I was able to learn about Maia and what she offers to individuals, the more I found that Maia is the authentic personification of a Life Coach: compassionate, caring, empathetic, genuine, honest, and real.
Maia has recently published a new self-coaching eBook titled “Once Upon a Time There Was You: Three Magic Secrets to Finding Your Real Self” . I have watched the wonderful movie and seen the Tools and Study Guide. It is a beautiful and remarkable insight into finding one’s “light” amongst the “darkness” in one’s life. Maia takes one through a journey of the self by utilizing a three-step process of self-illumination to uncover the “hidden you.” I recommend this program to everyone, as we have all experienced a diminished light in our lives at some point in time.
Maia is an experienced Life Coach who helps others discover their true authentic selves in whatever avenue of life they might be trudging through at the time.
Maia has numerous years of experience helping professionals and individuals improve themselves so that they can then “pay it forward” to their clients or family members. Truly a gift to those she works with, Maia lives what she teaches. This in itself is what makes Maia Berens a truly unique individual and professional. I believe strongly that we all have something to teach and learn from others. This belief is the foundation of the OOCA and the “Coaching Connection.” And, that is what Maia personifies. The OOCA offers Maia Berens an honorary membership, to join with us as an exemplary model of what being a Coaching Associate is all about. While we await the launching of the OOCA, I implore all of you to read about Maia Berens. Make certain to read through Maia’s website: “All About Life Coaching,”to read her numerous articles about what it means to be a Life Coach, and to explore her many facets of living an authentic life.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook! 
I was going for a walk the other day and noticed I was asking myself why I created a really difficult old friend visiting the previous weekend. These days, it isn’t surprising to you when someone asks, “Why did you create that?”
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