“To die for the revolution is a one-shot deal; to live for the revolution means taking on the more difficult commitment of changing our day-to-day life patterns.” Frances M. Beal
Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine a shiny, almost see-able, floating disk hovering on three glowing pillars sitting in the center of your chest. Written on the disk is the word “commitment”. Commitment is what is central to transformation. This commitment to yourself means that no matter what is occurring in your life, YOUR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION IS THE CORE VALUE YOU HOLD DEAREST. It is your reality and your salvation.
Transformation means changing or discovering yourself. Changing yourself will take work– and commitment. Commitment means even when you don’t want to do the work because it’s hard or you’re tired or you’re busy or it’s uncomfortable . . . or . . . or, you’ll do it anyway. How does that happen? How do you get yourself to do it anyway? How do I get myself to stick to my boring, limited and health-producing eating program? I do it because I am totally committed to loving myself on all levels.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF
“Don’t forget to love yourself.” Soren Kierkegaard
THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS (A) JOURNEY OF TRANSFORMATION IS TO BE THE PERSON YOU WERE BORN TO BE.
WILLINGNESS, COMMITMENT AND SELF-LOVE STRIDE HAND AND HAND TOGETHER. TRANSFORMATION WILL NOT OCCUR, ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER.
Back to Commitment
OK. Stop reading right now. Do not go any further in the program until you write down your reasons for wanting to transform your life. If you just read ahead, you will have some new information and you will take the big chance of never experiencing any change in your life and never transforming or uncovering the Real You –
STOP THIS VERY MINUTE. WRITE EVERY SINGLE REASON WHY YOUR LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE. WRITE EVERY SINGLE WAY YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
It has taken me years of learning and self awareness to be at the place of spiritual growth that I am at today. So, what is spiritual growth?
I’m just becoming aware, maybe at a deeper level than I have been before, the pitfalls of what is often called a spiritual bypass. Spiritual bypass- the desire to go directly to spiritual feelings, explanations and thoughts without experiencing the feelings in between. (Much prettier and less messy – like the picture to the left. It’s even decorated with a flower.)
Here are some examples of how we do it to ourselves:
We are so scared of feelings, we use something to keep us from having them. It might be a substance or might be just a way of clenching down and keeping them out.
We decide we are so healed and have done so much work on ourselves and our past, we don’t need to go there any more.
Since we didn’t have a very rough past, we think we aren’t like those others who did and we don’t really have any feelings much to deal with
I think that about covers it. (You know who you are.)
Anyway, that being said, I’m going to copy what I wrote just a bit ago:
“Nobody wants to let me talk about my fears of death or let me muddle my way into acceptance. I just looked up throat in Louise Hay. It says, ‘avenue of expression. Channel of creativity.’ So that’s why my throat hurts and I feel like I’ve lost my creativity like a little cat who might be in the house somewhere under a bed hiding but also might be gone – even dead. So I’ve been enjoying editing what I’ve already written and being amazed that I wrote what I wrote and expressed it so well. Maybe this fear is what is holding back my flow. Not the fear so much, but the lack of expressing it. It feels like my faucet is almost closed.
So here goes:
I am afraid of dying. What if it hurts? What if there is nothing after? What if I’m not really spiritual, just afraid of dying? What if Bart’s cold body is in our bed? Who would I call? What would I say? How would I call Anna? What if I become too needy and my kids don’t want to be bothered? What if the pain of Bart’s dying is so sharp it ruins me? What if death disrupts my life? What if he gets sick and can’t work or is non-functioning? What if I do? What will happen? I feel like I’m up against a wall of water like the parting of the Red Sea and I’m running out of the steam to keep it at bay – my positive grateful attitude is wearing thin – gratitude with feeling is hard to find. Denial is gone. Mortality is here. I can’t keep walking around it like the elephant in the living room. It’s bigger. More unknown. Surprising. Maybe evil. Everyone who has died in my life seemed magically gone. I insulated myself from their pain or I rode or floated on top of it. I can’t do that any more. I’ve never really felt grief and it scares me.
I want to feel up to facing whatever is and face it dead-on, face to face. I don’t want to lose my highs and lows and yet I want to stay in a positive place. Have I confused something here? Am I trying to give myself a spiritual bypass? Have Bart and I colluded in shutting out my feelings? We don’t like anger. He doesn’t like mine. I don’t like his. Have we overdone it? I want to fully live the human experience. Feelings are part of it. The only way is through – not around. I feel so much better.”
Everyone has a different way to grow spiritually. It is affected by so many aspects of life that it is ever changing from person to person. What is spiritual growth for you?
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
In the darker ages of personal growth – the ’80′s, before the Internet and cell phones and communities with an online reflective journal, I seemingly stumbled upon journaling and the terms inner peace and inner child over the span of 2 or 3 years. In my spiritual program, the 12-Steps, the buzz around the program was to keep a reflective journal. In it I could write my feelings and my gratitude lists and my complaints. Just get it out of my obsessive head. I have a couple of those journals and I see that they represent the history of my growth as a human being.
In them are hopes, dreams, Love Letters, pleading letters to God, gratitude. In those pages you will find my self growth from the first days of my 180 degree turn around through various momentous life experiences and learning.
Back then, as I hung around the program and started to absorb all that I was hearing at a deeper level, I came to believe that it was possible for me to have inner peace. It
My reflective journal from 1980
still sounded like some sort of fairy tale but I did notice how many people talked about it. I personally had never experienced anything like it. I certainly could relate to having experienced lots of pain but my basically optimistic nature latched on to anything I heard that sounded faintly hopeful that I could feel better then I had felt in most of the previous 33 years. Inner peace had that optimistic ring to it.
Then a couple of years later I stumbled again – right into a program that taught me about my inner child. I have no idea where I thought each age I had gone through went but it seemed a bit of a revelation to learn that that inner child was me!
It’s many years later now, I’ve experienced much healing, lots of journaling, much processing of feelings, coaching of me and by me, and growing. I now realize that the tools offered right here on this site, a Journaling-for-You Community with self-guided assignments and amazing support is the 2010 version of where to go, who to talk to and what to do when your inner child is screaming and you want inner peace.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
Life coaching is accomplished by you working with your life coach and allowing them to assist you in reaching your highest potential. What makes it work so well is that life coaches are trained to help you determine your goals, what you need to do to reach them and what it is going to take to accomplish them. Really good ones also know how to see beyond your perceived limitations.
Be sure that the life coach that you choose to work with is someone that you are comfortable with and that you feel you can communicate well with. You need to be able to talk about anything and everything with your coach.
In addition, you must feel that your coach does their job well. Interview at least three coaches. Ask for client testimonials. Find out how many coaching hours they have actually been involved with and try to get an idea of what type of techniques they use to assist you in finding and reaching your goals. Coaches work in many ways – in person, by phone or even by email now.
Life coaching can help you in so many ways. By getting a life coach and making a strong effort to work, be totally honest with and cooperate with the coach as much as possible, you can make a huge difference in your life and your success and happiness. Your life coach can work with you on any issue that you have and help to change the way that it is affecting your life. You can work on self esteem issues or procrastination issues -or relationship issues – whatever it may be that causes you to feel like something is not right in your life.
If you are looking for better personal relationships, business relationships or a better idea of what you want in life and how to go about getting it, a life coach could be your answer. For support in achieving goals, a life coach is perfect.
As you grow with the coaching, a good coach will help you revise what you want and lead you in the directions that you would like to go whether it is with your relationships with your kids or if it is figuring out how to get that big promotion at work. The confidence that you will get from working with your coach will spill over into all areas of your life.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
A difficult concept for people to understand is that the first thing you must get under control in your life in order to have the life you want is your emotional balance. To do this may require therapy or using self-help tools like the Love Letter .
Some say: “Living by your emotions and making decisions based on your emotions will never allow you to grow and succeed in the way that you deserve”. I say that could be true because you will continually attract more and more negatives into your life if your thoughts and feelings are largely negative. However, if you begin to adopt a different attitude, an attitude of learning from what is happening, you can begin to climb out of your negative spiral.
If you are not at peace with yourself and grateful for the blessings that you do have, you may become stuck in an unhealthy cycle of thoughts that will continue to keep you unhappy. Most likely your relationships and everything else in your life will be affected by this kind of upset balance.
If your negative emotions are controlling your life, many times you will feel as if you are out of control and you have no say over anything that happens in your life – like a victim of life.
Try this life coaching tool:
Find-the-Gift Exercise
Use this often and:
1. You’ll step out of victimhood into your powerful authentic self.
2. You’ll have an effective tool for problem-solving and guidance.
3. You’ll be more creative.
4. You’ll increase your insights and understanding about yourself and others.
5. You’ll have a lot more fun dealing with the difficulties of life.
6. You’ll be able to quickly jump to the learning about your life without going through all these steps.
Use this when:
You’re in a situation you don’t want to be in.
You feel stuck in negativity.
You feel like a victim.
Current Picture: Several years ago moved to Las Vegas because my husband got a great job opportunity. It’s one of the last places on earth I would have chosen to live. Moving away from most of my closest support system was very difficult because I’m a gregarious person.
Negatives
Learning and Gifts
i. Hate heat and miss the climate in California.
ii. Don’t see enough green vegetation.
iii. Know very few people.
iv. Stressed from having moved twice in 15 months.
v. No escape from smokers in public places. I’m highly allergic.
vi. Don’t even like saying I’m from Las Vegas because people might think I’m into “sin” and gambling or that I’m (God forbid) superficial.
i. Found the austere and uncluttered topography in Las Vegas a healing environment.
ii. Found a raw foods restaurant and support group. Raw foods has been a great way to do some bodily healing.
iii. Get to experience and enjoy working in a nurturing, at-home environment for the first time in my life.
iv. More of an opportunity to be with the Real Me without the distractions that I used to create for myself like filling up my time with other people.
v. Get to practice that nobody gets to be wrong-even Las Vegas.
Please note: The number of negatives and learning/gifts may not and don’t have to be equal.
New Picture : Living in Las Vegas served me perfectly to find more of the Real Me . It’s made even the 120 degree heat seem ideal for this business of changing my life. If I began to slip into or get stuck in any groans and moans, I easily got my positive attitude back by using this tool again. Much of the time, it’s become second nature to me. If I find myself resistant to using this tool, I ask my buddy or coach for help.
Find-the-Gift Do-It Your Turn
1. Write your current picture in 3 sentences or less. The current picture can be a situation in the present or something from the past that still has a negative charge, i.e. something that still elicits a negative emotional reaction when you think of it, or when you are in the presence of that person or situation.
2. Write 4 or 5 negatives about the situation on the left and 4 or 5 things you learned and/or gifts you received from the situation. A gift may be an actual object but most likely will be an unexpected benefit or something you’ve learned about yourself or life. The number of negatives and learning/gifts may or may not be equal.
3. After you finish your chart, a recap of the learning and gifts can be helpful. I call that the New Picture . Take a moment to recap your learning now or let it emerge in the following hours, days or weeks and go back to write it down then.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
Thinking about a career change? Once reserved for sports, coaching has spread into all areas of our lives. Becoming a life coach is easier then it sounds since coaches come from all sorts of backgrounds. Consulting, counseling, business, training, sports and entrepreneurship are just some of the areas that can provide some of the experience you will need. You could, for example, have a lot of experience with relationships and make that your focus or part of what you offer your clients.
If you are thinking of becoming a life coach starting a life coach business, ask yourself the following questions:
Are you an authentic person, living your values and experiencing success?
Are you a good communicator?
Do you sincerely wish the best for everyone?
Are you great at making life work for you?
Would you like to design your own workday?
Are you willing to market yourself?
The best way to begin to figure out if life coaching as a career is for you is to hire a good one and see what the experience of being coached is like from the inside out.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
When you read around this blog, you might get the impression that I have it all under control. Many experts talk and act as if they have resolved every issue in their lives – particularly the ones they teach about. Let me assure you that although I feel as if I have something to teach and offer you, I don’t feel I have it all down. I still have me to deal with. I need my own self help solutions. My perspective on that is that I need reminders of what it’s like so I keep fresh in my teaching. Having watched a person become famous and how challenging that is for the ego, I think it helps in that aspect too.
So, I do teach and talk about the Law of Attraction and what it takes to create what you want. I talk about the neuronet and the emotions and how to create your own self help solutions. This page has a good array of those topics. Here I’d like to talk about two I haven’t mentioned yet. I need these to change my emotional viewpoint when I woke up today.
Talking yourself down – Abraham Hicks talks about this. Example: this morning I woke up seeing the glass half empty. A few days ago over 650 people came to look at my site. I was so excited and the day after, when that number went down to the 100+ area, I told myself that the 650 was a great place to keep focused on and visualize and expect. Well, today I could only see low, low, low. So here’s the first thing I did. I started talking myself down saying things like this to myself: “OK. So you feel this way now and you’ve felt this way before about things and you know pretty soon this will change. Your thoughts and feelings come and go. Remember when you just knew that the big number was just a point of power not a point to beat yourself up about.” As I did this I started to feel a little better. Instead of resenting my husband for the lousy way he completed the kitchen clean-up, I let in a few thoughts about how great he was to keep helping. Then, instead of taking what felt like the longer route of continuing to talk to myself, I hit on the idea of #2.
Uplifting distraction – I put on my IPOD and listened to my favorite music. I usually listen to music while doing housework instead of just do cleaning. I lose myself in my music and don’t even realize what I’m doing. And best of all, all thoughts immediately stop. By the time I’m finished, I feel good about my accomplishment and the music has done its magic. I like John Denver, Shanti Shanti, the Beatles and other folks who do music that inspires me – often with spiritual themes.
So those are two more of my tricks to self-coach me which you certainly can borrow. Most important is my attitude that no bad mood is worth the so-called luxury of feeling lousy. Find out what self help solutions work best for you.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!
Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine a shiny, almost see-able, floating disk hovering on three glowing pillars sitting in the center of your chest. Written on the disk is the word “commitment”. Commitment is what is central to transformation. This commitment to yourself means that no matter what is occurring in your life, YOUR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION IS THE CORE VALUE YOU HOLD DEAREST. It is your reality and your salvation.
Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook! 
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