Maggie Currie

As you all may know by now I am a YOU University coach.  It all began nearly 18 months ago when I saw a comment on Twitter by someone called Crystal. I can’t remember now what the comment was but I was intrigued.  I contacted her and asked her what it was she was talking about and Crystal told me that she was a life coach with YOU University and gave me the link to the website.  I took a look and was instantly interested.  It looked exactly like what I had been looking for, but I hadn’t realised it.

I have trained as a personal life coach with a reputable college via distance learning. I have trained as a business coach with a large coaching company.  I have trained as a confidence coach with a well-known individual who is also a tv coach.  I have trained to be an NLP practitioner.  I had done all that training but still I felt there was more for me to learn, but I wasn’t sure where to find it or even where to look.

So when I saw the YOU University website I knew I wanted to be part of it.  Don’t ask me how I knew, I just did.  It sounded right.  It looked right.  It was telling me what I needed to know.  I was put in touch by Crystal with Maia Berens, the creator of YOU University.  We spoke on the phone for about half an hour or so and I signed up there and then.

I have to add here that I am not usually inspired by the usual ‘American coach gurus’, I have found some of them to be all noise and no substance and some are just not to my taste.  That is life, we all like what we like and don’t like what we don’t like.  YOU University is not like that at all.  It is inviting, knowledgeable, friendly and giving.

So I trained with Maia and some of the other coaches and coaches in training and I qualified in May 2011. The programme itself is based on 3 magic secrets (I will explain them later on) and there is absolutely nothing else out there like it.  Not anywhere. There are programmes like I have done before where they are a distance learning and I was left to my own devices to do the work, all the research and practice.  I had my submitted assignments marked by a tutor and at the end of the programme that was it.  I got a certificate and then nothing.  I have taken courses with a large coaching company in the UK where I attended a two-day course, was given a huge folder of assignments and videos and again left to my own devices.  Very little backup.  I got my certificate and that was it.  I have studied with a well-known tv coach and took two courses with them, I got my certificates and then nothing.

Now YOU University is nothing like that.  I am still learning with the coaches and new coaches in training, I am coaching other people through YOU University, I have support twice weekly on coaching conference calls with Maia and have calls with some of the other coaches, and although none of us has actually met in person, we love and trust each other to be totally open about lives and our progress with our transformations. We all learn from and teach each other as well as our new clients and new coaches in training.  None of us is compelled to attend these calls but we do because we want to and we love being connected across the continents.  The YOU University coaches are currently located in the USA, Australia, South Africa, Dominican Republic and the United Kingdom.  I know there will be more soon from other countries too.  The camaraderie is just spell binding and I just love hearing all the stories of growth and transition from everyone, even Maia.

Part of the learning process is to journal and that is something I was quite resistant to.  I had written in my own journal before and never looked at it again.  Nobody else saw what I had written and I forgot in time.  The beauty of journaling has been explained to me by the use of this free journaling community online.  A site that is specifically for journaling and can be reviewed by other people or coaches. What I have written has been read with no judgement and commented on with love.  It has changed my whole perspective on journaling completely.

Now the Three Magic Secrets are:

Life Is a School - we learn every day and the more we are open to learning, the more we will learn.

Friends In-Deed – we all need friends who will be there for us to help us through difficult situations or to advise. Friends we love and trust.

My Cup Runneth Over – An attitude of gratitude – being grateful for what we have is such a revelation, it sounds so simple but when you actually write a list of all the things you are grateful for, you will surprise yourself.

So my learning continues, I am going through YOU University again because I want to and just to see how much I have transitioned and I am amazing myself.  I didn’t realise just how far I had come since beginning this fabulous programme and how much I still have to learn about me.

If any of this resonates with you I am inviting you to take a look at the website. You will find out more about me too on the meet the coaches page.  Maybe it is what you have been looking for too.

Benefits of Working with a Life Coach

Although dealing with change in our lives is not easy, it is necessary and there is no getting around it.  Your life will change all the time in hundreds of different ways and the only thing that you can control is how you handle the changes.

If you are not happy with your life, get over your fears, your past, your self doubt and CHANGE IT.  The key is to sit down and figure out what exactly it is that you do want and what actions you need to take to change it.  For most of us having that conversation alone in your head doesn’t seem to work out very well. It’s usually helpful and even necessary to have the help of a good friend or a life coach so that you will be honest and thorough with yourself.

Remember, what you think you want now will probably change many times throughout the course of your life. But all this change will help you find out how to deal with change.

Dealing with change begins with acceptance of the current situation . Work with a life coach or a therapist if you can’t reach acceptance yourself. Since life brings constant change, the inner resources to deal with change need to be developed.

Daily start to look for what you have to be grateful for in your life instead of focusing on your struggle and negative mind chatter. The basis of an inability to deal with change is fear. Try to “be with” the situation and fthe eelings. Stop resisting. You know the old saw: What you resist, persists.

Know that the changes you are going through you have created in your life with the way you think and change your thinking to match your goals and soon change becomes fun and easy as the changes with which you are succeeding and following through on, will help you accomplish your goals. The Law of Attraction says “like attracts like”. Prolonged focus on negative thoughts and feelings will attract more negative change into your life. It’s time to turn 180^o and pursue the exciting adventure that is your life.

A  question  was  asked  in my  coaching  community.  It is a great  learning experience  for self awareness.   As  a coach  if I use self awareness  as a  tool  it can  create a great coaching  environment for my clients  and me.

The question asked:

I was on the phone with a friend and once again I found myself hearing her complain about her abusive job situation.  This has been going on for about 5 years.  She barely stops to take a breath, I once told her that unless there is progress being made, she is talking about the same thing over and over.

It makes me feel when someone does that, abused.

She has a steady job during a time when folks have nothing.  There is a lot to be grateful in any situation and when someone does that constantly, it bothers me personally.

Is that what goes on in Life Coaching, a b—– session?

How do you protect yourself from the negative energy of that?

Here’s my answer: Your question is a good one and I’ll give you my thoughts as they occur to me.

• I’d never want  a  situation  like  this happen with a client because we pretty much know that we are a good fit before we start coaching and I always get permission to jump in when I get their story. So I interrupt.  Part of  the  reason  I  jump  in is by having self awareness.  I  listen to the feelings  around the comments  expressed  by my  clients.

• That’s not what coaching (with me) is about. The reason I didn’t become a therapist was because I could never see myself just sitting and listening to someone’s problems. I’m about positive change. (I know all therapy isn’t about that but I was young and didn’t know it then.) The positive change is teaching the clients about self awareness   too.

• I’d hate doing that. I hate doing that for anyone because it brings me down and makes me feel powerless myself. (This doesn’t mean I’m not compassionate to friends, family and clients. It does mean exactly what it says.)

• When I get off I coaching call, I’m high. If that doesn’t happen most of the time, this coaching relationship isn’t working and I know it.

Does this mean I’m heartless? No. It means clients pay me to help them get un-stuck. How would I be helping them do that if I just let them stay stuck in their problem? Once I understand what they want to change, my job as life coach is to help them stay focused in that direction.

So, bottom line, I don’t have to deal with the negative energy because I don’t experience it.

At  a time in every person’s life one must  find themselves  and find their own self awareness. People can get lost  from the effects  of  different  parenting. There is a kind of damage from persistent abuse, criticism   and  neglect.  There is even a kind of damage from positive forms of parenting. But the child with good parents who love them could  possible not understand that children are influenced and conditioned by those around them.   may still end up “losing” themselves.

They  have been conditioned and influenced as a result of their parents conditioning and their perspectives of themselves and the world are not fully theirs. It’s probably like a form of brainwashing, I imagine, but of children. Children are the most vulnerable to conditioning.

Imagine an adult with good self esteem who’s had a stable life and a good childhood. If someone started to frequently criticize or change the way they see the world, that person would walk away, not buy it and go on. But a child hasn’t the knowledge  or power to leave. Depending on the “wiring” of the child and the conditioning, the results would still be loss of self awareness. That child has been conditioned by the unknowing parent and so although it doesn’t make sense to anyone, they still may never quite find the life that is suited to them.

The First 37 Years – Covered in the Movie

I guess I’ve learned to make a story out of my life. This movie is the story of a part of my life. Making it into a story, has helped me learn what was good about the hard parts. Writing and producing it the way I did felt like giving birth to my 5th child. That child has taught me many things about life and myself. It is said, “from the mouth of babes”.

The Fifth Child Is Born as We All Are – as a Result of Pain

Twelve years ago my husband and I found ourselves living in Las Vegas, a very unlikely place for someone who hates heat and always said she never would want to live there – me. Some people experience the results in their lives that have people saying to them, “Be careful what you wish for” but I seem to have to stay away from “I never…” kinds of statements because then they seem to happen.

So we had just gone through one of the hard parts in life. For 5 years we ran a workshop training company for John Gray, the Men Are from Mars guy and that company ended abruptly and kind of crazily. Many things changed in our lives including no longer being able to afford our lovely home in N. California. Fortunately, my husband was offered the job in Las Vegas and to Las Vegas we went.

So since I had to do something in Las Vegas out of the heat, I decided to see if I could write a book. It was a sometimes frustrating journey but I did it! I learned that I have creative talent that I had no idea I had.

The Fifth Child’s Frustrating Years

I also had no idea how to market the book, so it sat in boxes in our house until along came the idea of making it into a Powerpoint presentation with movement and music.

That also took many, many months only to find out that Powerpoint files were really hard to show on the internet. Eventually I had it made into a flash movie which took a whole year long journey in itself and was fraught with much drama between me and the gentleman who was making it for me.

Meanwhile things got way better in our lives. We were back in Los Angeles, crazed and then uncrazed over the loss of all of our money but life kept improving as my husband found his fifth career at age 70, teaching high school Physics which he does until today, seven years later, and I am about to start training my thirteenth coach.

The Fifth Child Grows Up

Yesterday I was able to convert that flash movie that took a year to be done into a movie I can easily post anywhere from youtube to facebook or right here on my website. For that I am exceptionally grateful. At the same time in this my 70th year on the planet (I will have my 70th birthday on January 4, 2013) I am now known as the Wise Fairy God Mother and I finally believe it is the most appropriate title for this formerly very low self esteem woman, the Woman-Who-Was-the-Girl-Who-Was-the-Light. And I am grateful.

Note: If you want to find out who the Woman-Who-Was-the-Girl-Who-Was-the-Light and the Wise Fairy God Mother are, watch the movie. It’ll take you about 11 minutes and put your speakers on.

Low Self Esteem – Oh No!

The following characteristics are the most telling signs of severe low self esteem:

• critical to one’s self or others

• poor posture

• issues with weight

• indulging in self destructive behavior such as crime, alcohol or drug abuse

• remaining in abusive or unstable relationships

• the inability to find any positive aspects in life in general Believe it or not, even the best plans can be ruined by low self esteem. This

is mainly because individuals with low self esteem often have a belief deep within that they are incapable of achieving success or don’t deserve to be happy. Possessing high self esteem is all about instilling high values within yourself and upon yourself, which results in loving and accepting yourself for who you are – these are the essential keys to inner satisfaction and authentic self esteem.

Life coaching is a profession that not only helps individuals focus on their goals and establish flourishing careers, but helps them with issues such as low self esteem. This procedure is very efficient at isolating one’s fears and eliminating the common beliefs that prevent some from reaching their goal. With the aid of an expert, you can access your level of self esteem and establish a newfound confidence in a very short amount of time.

It has never seemed likely that USA life coaches will ever coach Chinese women unless it’s related to athletics or achieving a gold medal for their country. But who knows? Things are changing there and we have really inexpensive long distance and even internet phoning.

Since much of coaching is uncovering what makes you happy and fulfilled, a likely question to look at is what makes a Chinese woman happy? Power, money, love, sex?

In fact, self fulfillment ranks the highest for more than 60 percent of the respondents in a recent survey conducted by the Yueji Self, a Chinese-language magazine jointly launched recently by the Chinese-language Women of China magazine and the New York-based magazine publisher Conde Nast Publications..

Self fulfillment is defined by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language as the fulfillment of oneself, the fulfillment of your capacities or the act of consummating something – a desire or promise, etc.

“The high marks for self fulfillment are inspiring and encouraging,” Li Yinhe, a noted sexologist and professor at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said. “It shows big progress. More and more women want to achieve their life value, which eclipses the importance of the private life for women. “When women start to value self fulfillment, they become more equal to men.”

“In China, the traditional mindset is that men live for their careers and women live for love. Although only about 22.5 percent surveyed prioritized love as the big happiness maker, it doesn’t mean that Chinese women no longer believe in love,” Li said.

“The awareness and recognition of women’s empowerment are relatively low in China,” Li said. “The country has long been a patriarchal society and still is, offering less opportunities and encouragement to women to compete with men. Despite the progress made in gender equality and women empowerment in recent years, only 20 percent of the National People’s Congress (NPC) members are females,” Li said.

Life coaches, can you imagine yourself coaching women half way around the world? What an exciting prospect!