“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Roy Disney

Values are principles with intrinsic importance to you. Taking a look at what your values are is a good start toward answering the question, “Who am  I now?” and “To what am I committed?”

For example, what did I value prior to 1980? My list included: not being yelled at, feeling and being safe, no one making me feel badly about myself, safety, no one making me feel afraid, safety, support, protecting and providing for my kids, tenderness  toward me, being seen, being nurtured.

What do you notice? Most of my values were self-centered ones. I had lost my ability to see that I had something to contribute to the world except for the bare necessities of keeping it together for my children.

Write down your top 21 values as of this date.
A List Exercise

COMMON PERSONAL VALUES
Accuracy    Accountability    Accomplishment, Achievement, Success
Adventure    All for one & one for all    Aspiration
Beauty    Calm, quietude, peace    Challenge
Change    Cleanliness, orderliness    Collaboration
Commitment    Communication    Community
Competence    Competition    Concern for others
Content over form    Continuous improvement    Coordination, Integration,
Country, Patriotism    Creativity    Customer satisfaction
Decisiveness    Delight of being, joy    Democracy
Determination    Discipline    Discovery
Diversity    Education, learning    Equality
Efficiency    Excellence    Fairness
Faith    Family    Family feeling
Flair    Freedom    Friendship
Fun    Generosity    Global view
Goodness    Gratitude    Honor
Hard work    Harmony, Oneness,     Unity
Honesty    Honor    Inner peace, calm, quietude
Innovation    Integrity    Justice
Knowledge    Leadership    Loyalty
Love, Romance    Maximum utilization        (of time, resources)
Meaning    Merit    Mobility
Money    Nationalism    Openness
Non-violence    Patriotism    Peace
Perfection (e.g. of details of work)    Persistence    Personal Growth
Pioneer Spirit    Pleasure    Positive attitude
Power    Practicality    Preservation
Privacy    Progress    Prosperity, Wealth
Punctuality    Purity    Quality of work
Rationality    Regularity    Reliability
Resourcefulness    Respect for the individual    Results-oriented
Responsibility    Responsiveness    Risk (willing to take)
Rootedness    Rule of Law Safety    Satisfying others Security Self- givingness, Selflessness
Self-reliance    Seriousness    Service
(to others, society)    Simplicity    Sincerity
Skill    Speed     Spirit in life (using-)
Stability    Standardization    Status
Strength    Style    Systemization
Teamwork    Timeliness    Tolerance
Tradition    Tranquility    Truth
Trust    Unity    Variety
Well-being, Health    Wisdom

IT’S EASY TO CONFUSE YOUR REAL VALUES WITH THOSE VALUES YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE. TO GET PAST THAT BIT OF EGO-MIND, DO THE FOLLOWING:

Another Route to Your Values – A List Exercise

1.    Make a list of the 10 people you admire the most. These people can be real or fictional, in your life or in the public eye, living or dead.
2.    Next to their name, put down up to 10 qualities you admire about each of them.

Now look through your list of qualities and circle the ones that keep appearing. The qualities that appear most often are your real values.

Example: You admire Oprah because she is generous, courageous and authentic. You also admire your friend because she is helpful, bright and generous. Additionally, you admire your spouse because he is hardworking, caring and generous. So you can see that generosity is a strong and important value of yours.

Values may change – particularly when you consciously put yourself on a path of transformation. So a check at regular intervals is very revealing and important because it is to your values you’ll be looking when commitment wanes.

**Excerpt from You University: Coaching Program to Learn to Live Your Real Self © by Maia Berens