Some thoughts…

Maia, here are some thoughts after our coaching call today.  Are my writings a linear progression, or a scattered bunch of thoughts that don’t connect or even belong together in the same context?

This is how I am choosing to uncover the truth.

I feel like I’m trying to bundle barbed wire and getting shredded in the process – no, it’s more like… [here I walked away for a couple of hours, unable to find a good analogy].

What we call the “dark forces” is just our unwillingness to take back our power.

…the thing about not taking responsibility for what happens in your life is that it says you have no power.  Yes, I grew up thinking I had no power – this is what my parents taught me because it served them best.  After listening to “Abraham” for over two years I realize that I am the one who creates for myself the world in which I live.  But, I still do not take responsibility for what I am experiencing.  I look for and find a lot of petty little excuses – people to blame – Oh, right, blame feels better than guilt.

Then there is the issue of believing versus KNOWING.

Take back my power!  NOW?  OK, I did say I wanted to jump in, not just dip my toe in the water.  Remember, Maia, when I said that last week.  Well, it feels here like I’m in over my head, but yet, I feel supported, and know this is a gigantic opportunity for soul growth.  It doesn’t matter what I do, any action which is the next logical step will get me where I need to be.  And any action will get me to some place besides where I am right now.  Is that the goal?  Well, I want to be in the right place for me.

I deserve to be in the right place for me – and I claim this place.  I declare it right, right now.

That is an important point, and one of which my body knows the rightness: my hair, which I used to part on the right side, now parts itself in the middle.  I read that a part on the right side shows others that you are creative, while parting your hair on the left side presents your analytical nature, and down the middle shows balance.

So, this is what “TRUST” feels like – not new or foreign, after all!

Maia, as always, your coaching call on Tuesday helped me get some things clear in my head.  I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by confronting my social relationship issues.  The group I’ve been working with has put me in that old position from childhood, of responsibility without authority.  As a nine year old, the oldest of a large family, and a girl, I was in that position.  Now in my 60’s, as a junior minister I’m there again.  I appreciate your support as I jump into this one.

Anita