I am confused by Martian’s advice not to become emotional when hearing their partner’s emotions. What if you do? Can everyone just choose when to be emotional? Perhaps Martians are better at that than Venutians, but I wonder if you allowed yourself to be emotional whether it might add to your ability to be empathetic to the talker. When my boyfriend offers an ear, it can be tremendously helpful. But if what I say affects him emotionally (because its a shared issue or just one he can relate to) and he cries, or communicates happiness or annoyance or anger, that simply creates a more dynamic exchange.

I am starting to pray to God for my life partner to appear in my life, and your sharing these important aspects of relationships nourishes me and are lessons I will keep in my heart.

God bless.

Before you think that I am just talking here about communicating feelings, I am not. I am talking about communicating almost anything.

I cant’ figure it out and maybe I never will, but Maia and I misread, misunderstand each other a lot.

Now that’s OK, by the way, because it gives us ample opportunity to discuss the misunderstandings and by doing so, we almost always become closer because intimacy takes many forms.

Martians might be thinking here that it’s ok to miscommunicate on purpose because of the result, but be aware that you may be volunteering for a round of “bit-chi-ness” that you started and you are required by Martian code to just listen to your partner, understand her and do not (under any circumstances) become emotional yourself. Save your emotions for another time and place.