“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” Erica Jong

Coupled with my commitment to transformation, I know and accept as true that I am a Spiritual Being who has chosen to have a Human Experience. I’ve read and heard many discussions about the mechanics of how that might occur.  It does not really matter how. What matters is that, along with me, YOU CHOOSE TO ADOPT THE UNCONDITIONAL BELIEF THAT YOU ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING YOUR LIFE – in the past, now and in the future. In other words, the buck stops here.

Am I saying you created that cancer? Yes!
Am I saying you created that divorce? Yes!
Am I saying you created that difficult childhood? Yes!
Am I saying you created anything else you choose to throw at me to get me to say ‘no’. Yes!

I will not say, “That was just an accident – a fluke.” I will not say, “You really are a victim.” I will not support any victim outlooks. I will love you. I will be endlessly compassionate. I will put my energetic arms around you. I will not give up on you. Please do not give up on yourself by weakening your position as a powerful human by choosing to see yourself as a victim of circumstance.

AND IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR BELIEF, AT LEAST BE WILLING TO ADOPT A NEW VIEWPOINT WHILE YOU ARE WORKING WITH THIS BOOK.

**Excerpt from You University: Coaching Program to Learn to Live Your Real Self © by Maia Berens

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Maia,

On the record, or off the record, if you want to include this on your blog as my comment on our session today, fine.

It helps me so much when you share aspects of your family life, because I feel I’m not alone in the issues and life situations that I face, and I know you can understand me.  I don’t feel so weird either.  Thanks for being honest and open.  It makes a difference to me.

Love,

Savina

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Relationships 101

I’m sitting here at my desk looking over at my husband home from his first day of a new semester with the approximately 100 kids a day he teaches. He fell asleep while reading the Physics textbook. I’m making dinner.

How we honor each other is what I guess I want to focus on . I’d love to complain about how hard I worked today and how hard it is to come back from a vacation. I imagine he does too – when he wakes up and eats and works on school stuff until bed. He left the house at 6:15 this morning. So how can I complain?

I think instead I’ll just express appreciation.

A little later: He woke up. We ate. I told him I really appreciated my 75-year-old husband going to work and doing what he does to take care of me. He hugged me and thanked me for saying that. It’s great when I follow my own advice.

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Dear Maia,

I felt our session yesterday was very focused on current life issues that have sprung from within me this past week.  I was so eager to talk them over with you, and as always, you gave me valuable feedback on all counts:  nutrition (thanks for the recipe), aspects of my dating life, and the changes that will be taking place in my life in the near future.  Thank you always for you!!

Love.

On another note, how coincidental is this?  Yesterday, I received an inspiration email from a close friend about “I Believe” phrases, and I printed one out real nice and framed it at my desk to share with co-workers and inspire them.  It reads:  I BELIEVE……THAT YOU CAN KEEP GOING LONG AFTER YOU THINK YOU CAN’T.

Today, just now really, I was reading an excerpt from an article about Obama and the campaign and his recommendations on success and I ran into this parragraph….a message from the Universe for me?  Here it is:

One of the interesting things about a campaign like this is that it really does push you to the limit and then some. And it turns out that you have more in your reservoir than you expected.”

Any comments?

Love again,

Savina

Oh, Dearie.

Am I glad you are seeing that! You sell yourself so short. (It takes one to know one. I was just told the same thing this week.) You truly can do anything you want to. It’ll just take you changing your thoughts and over time (never knowing whether that is a day, a week, years?) you will do it. Keep watching those thoughts.
Love,
Maia

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Man Are from Mars…..

I know my husband since Oct. of 1982. I’ve been in an intimate relationship with him for 28 years and married to him for 26 and sometimes I haven’t the foggiest idea who he is. He’s like a beautiful being from another planet that has come into my life to give me more than I could ever have imagined. He loves me amazingly. He believes in me and my abilities – often some steps ahead of how much I can believe in myself. He is so known to me and yet – sometimes I’m almost breathless with the knowledge that how this happened – how we finally found each other is like some kind of play Directed by Someone beyond thought.

Now how does that sound coming from am a total proponent in the belief that we create our own lives? But I can’t quite wrap myself around having created so amazingly while being unaware that I was doing it. How did it happen? Am I really this powerful? Is he?Does anyone else feel this way? Do I feel this way because the contrast with my former life and relationship is so great?

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!

Seems these days many people are looking for life coaching courses. Because I do a form of life coach training, sometimes I get “found” and then discuss with the interested person what my training amongst the zillion life coach courses being offered consists of. For the heck of it, I just searched on Google for those three words together and got 363,000 results!

How would one weed out and figure out which courses to even read the website about?

It is an interesting experience for me to put myself in the proverbial shoes of someone who is starting such a search. I think I would be wildly confused. I just jotted down a list of 5 things that will help and that will give you a way to sort through and recognize which ones might be of interest to you:

• What kind of coaching do they teach?

Coaching is varied. There are coaches who will help you with life skills or specialize in ADD or work with executives. The list is very long and almost as long as the list of people who call themselves life coaches. I’ve seen people who are in multi-level marketing call themselves life coaches and those like I was when I did general coaching who feel they can help most anyone with anything. Ask yourself what do you enjoy helping people achieve in their lives? I eventually realized that I want to help people learn how to divest themselves of the accumulation of old unexpressed emotions and feelings because I realized in my own life what amazing transformational benefits I achieved in my own life as a result of that work. So in my course of training, coaches learn the same thing – how to help clients transform their lives by virtue of teaching tools and coaching them though a specific 8 month program leaving everyone with higher self esteem and a closer connection to who they really are.

• Are the life coaching courses you are looking at inclusive of personal and/or group coaching for you?

It is my experience that you can’t become a coach unless you’ve had a coach. Coaching is not an intellectual pursuit that can just be learned from books or videos. Books or videos can teach you re-useable techniques but they cannot teach you how to use the intuitive parts of yourself to work with clients. It doesn’t mean a course is bad if it doesn’t include this; it only means it is incomplete and you will want to get this experience somewhere and somehow. Because I knew from my own experience that this was true, I built coaching and mentoring in a group and privately into my program.

• Is there supervised coaching?

If there is no experienced person who has been doing coaching successfully for some period of time who will listen to your coaching and give you pointers and praise, it will be your clients only who you will be “experimenting” with and it will be hard for you to have conversations with conviction with potential clients. Which leads to marketing and promotion….

• Do the life coaching courses you are looking at include training and support on how to attract clients to you?

Will you be promoted on their website? Will they teach you how to become a known person on facebook or twitter or how to set up local workshops to let people know who you are? Is their ongoing support and collaboration with other coaches in other areas and who have varied backgrounds and experience and who will contribute what they know to improve the whole?

• And finally it is important to know the cost and the time needed to fulfill the training.

Hope this helps you as you wade your way through the 336,000 life coach courses.

Good Communication Skills,
Life Coach

As a life coach, it is important to know when it is the best time for your clients to move on and continue working on their own. It is the role of  a life  coach to  have the communication skills to end the relationship. A good coach is responsible enough to know that the life of a coaching relationship is not a lifetime. Knowing that is how the best life coaches build their business. Not by keeping clients forever, but by letting them go when the time is right and generating more referrals based on their outstanding service.

In the beginning, clients are unsure. They may be testing the relationship and feeling the waters to determine if life coaching is really for them. Or if you really are the right coach for them. Soon, if it’s right, they will start to become a little more trusting and may feel it may benefit them to continue. As things start to come together for your client and some of the small goals seem to be falling into place, the client will begin to expect the life coaching to work and for things to continue to progress in the right direction. When the client has mastered all the skills you have to offer and is doing well towards their goals, you will see that it is time for them to continue on their own.

And it goes both ways. If you have a coach and feel it is time to move on – either to another coach or onto your life by yourself – test your communication skills and have the courage and courtesy to yourself and your coach to give at least a month’s notice. Some coach’s will talk to you about this in the beginning or along the way but they may not and it’s good for you to know. Since you have built up such an intimate connection, be fair to the coaching relationship and build in a few sessions for closure.

Click here and watch the Three Magic Secrets Movie for free – a free self-help ebook!